I am 32 years old… I think. Once I turned 26 I began forgetting my age. I like bubble baths. I do not like competition. I do enjoy a challenge, as long as I don’t think I’ll fail. I am a person of faith and I pray for my children every day. I like to laugh when I hear people fart. I love to run alone as long as it’s not dark outside. I like it when Theo kisses me on the lips, one lip sucked in while he makes a puckering noise. I hate getting pimples. I have a financial ‘buffer zone’ – I decided on it when I was in university and it has never changed. I am proud that my dad was my gym teacher in junior high and that he is still fit. I like the things in my house to have a place where they belong and to return them to their home after I’m finished using them. It makes me feel special that my mom stayed home to raise her kids even though it meant that there were times they were financially stretched. I hog the bed… sometimes I go to bed early just to secure the best spot. I love being a mom. Being a Newfoundlander makes me happy. Loosing my temper makes me cry on the inside. I have always claimed that there is a ‘sister code’ that must be followed by all sisters who want to remain friends – I still adhere to this belief. I like 80’s music and it makes me giggle when I hear alternative re-makes of those songs. I dislike crying in front of others. I love spending the afternoon looking for bugs and finding shapes in the clouds in the sky. When I was in high school I wanted to beat up some kids at my sister’s middle school for making her feel bad – I still get this urge if I find out anyone’s done something to upset her. I like being able to outrun my husband and I love that he lets me gloat.
These are all pieces of me. Some things you probably already know and some things might surprise you. They are all things that I have discovered about myself over time. With each year that passes I discover a new part of me. Sometimes it’s a part that was there all along that I didn’t want to acknowledge. Sometimes the discovery comes as a complete surprise. I have welcomed the revelation of some of these things with open arms and it has broken my heart to discover others.
One thing that has remained constant throughout my life and it’s many evolutions has been my love of running. As a kid I would time how long it would take me to run through the woods from my house to the school and how long it would take me to run home for lunch. In my teens I got into the habit of running when I was mad – my own form of anger management. A methodology that came in handy as a new and sometimes stressed Mommy. I have tried trail running and loved it; street running – enjoyable; barefoot – brilliantly thrilling; with my children – just way too fulfilling; running on snow shoes – perhaps a little crazy but incredibly fun. Whenever a new year rolls around I always have the urge to set new goals for myself or make resolutions – even if what I’d been doing the year previously was working for me just fine. This year I recognize that I will continue to love to run and I will continue to find out new pieces of me. Resolutions are not necessary. Instead, I will embrace the evolution of myself.
This year I have decided to be content with just loving the run.