I Conquered my Fear!!

I did it!!! I RAN! I am not going to lie-it hurt, it was slow and I had a burning sensation in my throat I haven’t felt since I was a smoker, but I did it!!

Ever since I gave up running in my fourth month of pregnancy I have been terrified of my first real run after having my baby. I know some women can run right through their entire pregnancy, but I was not one of those women. I didn’t like the feeling of my belly jiggling  and even though I knew the baby was fine I couldn’t get the image out of my head of the little guy getting bumped around in there.

Sitting on my butt for the last seven weeks since my son was born, exercise has been weighing (HA!) on my mind way too much. I know I should not put too much pressure on myself, but I want my athletic body back. I had worked way too hard to achieve that strength over a period of almost three years and to see the numbers on the scale much higher than I had wanted it to be six weeks postpartum has been a hard pill to swallow. I knew that I had to get running again if I wanted to lose my belly, hips and my couch butt. I was also worried about not finding my passion to run again. I loved running before I got pregnant-it was such a physical and mental release for me, but would I love it when I had a five-year old and newborn to look after?

I admit…I have been stalling going for my first run. I found every excuse in the book not to run ever since I got the ok from my doctor to run over two weeks ago. Weather, smoke in the air from forest fires, fatigue, baby needs me-the list goes on. I knew this past weekend that I couldn’t stall anymore and promised myself to just see what I could do on a treadmill and not to be too hard on myself. Usually I am an outdoor runner, but figured starting on the treadmill would be good since I wouldn’t have to worry about the weather or wind. I put together a new playlist on my iPod, left a bottle for the husband to give the baby and off I went to the gym.

I was nervous…I warmed up with a nice walk for about five minutes, then time had arrived. I put the treadmill at a 12 minute per mile pace and jumped on! It felt great! I could only run for one to two songs at a time before I needed a minute or two of walking, but i was running again! I couldn’t believe how my body remembered what it was supposed to do and how fast my mind went to its happy place of day dreaming. I am not a girl to track times, but I did 4km in about 35 minutes and I am very happy with that! It’s crazy to think that I completed my first half-marathon almost one year ago and here I am now puffing away to get 4km run in, but i think that is ok.

It’s going to take hard work and extra dedication now that I am a mother of two in order to get my “athlete” back, but now that the fear is gone think I can make it happen 🙂

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3 Responses to I Conquered my Fear!!

  1. Christine says:

    Amy,
    I am so happy for and proud of you! This is fantastic! Whenever I am feeling down by my progress, or lack of it, my husband is always quick to remind me that most people cannot even run what I can, and it’s totally true. Even doing 4K is a fantastic accomplishment that should have you holding your head up high. I think I went almost a full year after I had Kait before embracing an exercise routine again. You’re awesome. You will get to where you want to be, but please don’t be too hard of yourself. You’re one busy woman right now! I look forward to hearing more running adventures.

  2. Amy says:

    Thanks Christine! Do you think you could write a quick entry about your kettlebell class? I have no idea what things you can do with one (or two?) of them. I was thinking that we should have a tag for cross-training since it is such an important part of being a good runner and it might open up some doors to other physical activities that other people may not of ever thought of.

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